


Service with a Smile

by Eastling (Annwyd)



Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, Femslash February, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 07:17:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5958520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annwyd/pseuds/Eastling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Holy Grail War is over, and Shirou, Rin, and Saber live a happy life together. Sakura Matou feels more isolated than ever--and the only one who notices is Saber. In the wake of Shirou and Rin's departure for London, Saber does her best to fix what went wrong. Set after Unlimited Blade Works Good Ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Service with a Smile

After the Fifth Holy Grail War, the days pass in a peaceful crawl for Sakura Matou. When Shinji comes home too shaken to be cruel any longer, she wonders if more things will change, but they do not. Zouken sighs about spoiled chances and returns to his own perpetual rotting, waiting for another opportunity to seize the Grail's power. He'll probably claim her body before then.

Her own peace of mind is as spoiled as Zouken's chances at the Grail. When she visits the Emiya household, Rin and Saber are there at Shirou's side. Seeing them there feels like curling her hand around the stem of a rose and squeezing until the thorns tear her palm apart. Shirou still smiles at her, but his eyes are always looking somewhere else. Either he's blushing at Rin, or, more often, gazing off into the distance, seeing something nobody else can.

She stops going to the Emiya household. She had her chance at a real life, she made the mistake of hoping, and this is just the price she pays for that: this tight knot of jealous despair in her stomach where there should only be numbness.

On her way back from the last day of school, she sees the three of them anyway at the gate, laughing together. Right then, she knows she wants to destroy them all, one by one: Shirou for failing to save her, Rin for taking everything she ever dared to want, and Saber for starting it all. She fantasizes about it with a sick ball of guilt rising in her throat.

"Sakura!" Shirou calls to her.

The ball of guilt transforms into a dagger in her mouth. She swallows heavily as she approaches. "Senpai?" She puts on her kindest smile. "I didn't think you'd notice I was here."

Saber frowns a little, and for some reason that makes Sakura uneasy.

But Shirou continues, "Tohsaka, Saber, and I are leaving to go to London next week. I just wanted to say goodbye. I haven't seen you in a while, but I'm sure you're doing well on your own."

She hates him. "Senpai doesn't have to worry about me," she agrees.

She leaves before Rin can say anything. She leaves before Shirou can smile any more.

They leave on Friday. On Sunday she makes her way to the empty Emiya household and lets herself in--Shirou didn't think to ask her for the key back. She fiddles with the stove a bit, and then she sets the entire place on fire.

She has every intention of leaving after that, but the smoke rises too quickly and the flames catch too easily. Sakura passes out in the living room with the fire roaring around her. She thinks it's too bad she'll never get a chance to gloat a little, if only to herself, about the destruction, but it's not that big a deal. At least she's leaving a mark before she goes, even if that mark is made of ash.

* * *

"Sakura."

She wonders at first how anyone could have found her in time. Then she entertains the brief, wild fantasy that it's Shirou, having changed his mind about Rin and Saber and London and come back just for her.

"Sakura!"

Her chest hurts. She coughs and squeezes her stinging eyes shut.

From somewhere nearby, she hears a sigh of relief. "You're alive--I was not too late."

She recognizes the voice now, but it makes no sense. It isn't Shirou, and it isn't Taiga, and it isn't even Rin. Sakura opens her watering eyes to look at her savior.

Saber is kneeling over her on the floor of the dojo, her face beautiful even when smudged with soot and pinched with concern. Sakura is jealous of that kind of beauty, which isn't surprising because she's jealous of everything. Why did someone pure like Saber rescue a dirty and jealous girl like her?

She can hardly voice a thing like that, so instead she asks a simpler question. "How did you—?" It seems like a valid one. Saber is so small and slender; anyone would think it impossible that she could have carried Sakura out of the flames. Of course, Sakura has a suspicion about that, even if she isn't sure.

"That isn't important," Saber says. "You are alive. The kitchen and the surrounding areas are in shambles, but that is only a building."

Overwhelmed all of a sudden, Sakura shakes her head. It aches with the motion, but she keeps going. "It isn't only a building! It's a _home_ \--" More than a home, it's the only place she could remember being happy. "Senpai won't forgive me!"

She's surprised at the pain in her voice. Isn't that why she did it? To make herself unforgivable. To give Shirou a reason for abandoning her.

"Nonsense," Saber says firmly. "This isn't your fault, Sakura."

A fresh wave of guilt rolls through her. Surely Saber sees it on her face, but she says nothing to indicate it. "I shouldn't have been here," Sakura says instead. "I'm sorry...I ruined your trip to London."

"No," Saber says. "I chose to stay in the end. I still have business in Fuyuki. It is fortunate that I did."

Sakura just shakes her head again, even though it hurts. "You could've been hurt too." She's still a little puzzled about that--if Saber is the Servant she appears to be, of course she could stand a little fire, but if that's the case, why didn't she disappear at the end of the war?

"Nevertheless," Saber says, "I made the choice to save you, and I—"

She pauses for a split-second; it's just enough time for Sakura, still dizzy from the smoke, to feel like she might fall right into Saber's green eyes. They look so pure right now.

"I do not regret it," Saber concludes, sounding a little surprised. She lowers her gaze.

Sakura swallows down a pain that has nothing to do with the fire.

* * *

Her head and her lungs still hurt, so she stays in the guest room rather than trying to go home for the night. It never felt like trespassing before, but now it does. She is an alien in this home now, a treasonous spy who already secretly detonated a bomb here.

Saber's words irritate her all night. No one has ever made the choice to save her before, and by now she's long since given up hope of it, so how dare this beautiful and unsullied girl start now? She turns and she turns in the bed like she's sleeping on pebbles, and still the thought doesn't go away.

She finally sleeps and dreams, fitfully, of playing some obscure board game against her estranged sister. Rin keeps capturing all her pieces, but still the game continues. Sakura is too angry to quit and too helpless to strike back.

Her body feels better when she wakes, but that's all that does. Her mind still hums with distress.

When she heads into the courtyard at last, she gets her first good look at what happened to the main house. It's not completely collapsed, but it's obviously gutted; bits of the roof sag, and several walls have crumbled.

It looks less suited to Shirou and Rin now and more suited to someone like her. She wonders if she should be satisfied about that. She thought she would be.

Eventually, Saber emerges from the dojo to find her still staring at the mess. "I apologize for not arriving sooner last night," she says. "This could have been prevented."

"No, it's fine," Sakura says. "You saved me, after all."

For some reason, Saber ducks her head at that and looks at the ground.

Sakura smiles at her. "You must have been really strong to be able to carry me out of the flames like that. I wish I could have seen it." Fleetingly, she wonders if that's true. It would have been nice--she's always admired heroes like Saber, after all. That doesn't mean she's being sincere. She's only trying to pry a little into Saber's Servant nature.

"Is that so," Saber says, a little uncertainly. She's an even worse obfuscator than Sakura thought.

"You're actually a little shorter than I am, so maybe it would have looked silly," Sakura says. "But I think it must have been amazing anyway, so—" A strange gurgling sound interrupts her. She blinks. Saber's face starts to flush. "Saber?"

"Forgive me," Saber bursts out. "The food was all burned, so I have not...I have not eaten since yesterday."

Sakura stares at her. During the war, she assumed that Saber only ate to blend in with humans. But that was a real growl she just heard from her stomach. She looks at Saber's red face and shamefully clasped hands, and for a moment all she sees is an awkward young woman and not the intruder who changed everything for her.

"Okay," Sakura says. She reaches out. In the end, she still reaches out. "Will you come into town with me so we can find something to eat, Saber?"

Saber's mouth drops open a little. She looks at Sakura in astonishment. "Sakura?"

"You're really hungry, so please don't delay," she says, smiling. She wants to think that it's just a front, but something about Saber's pure face makes her doubt that. Maybe she really is happy to take Saber out for lunch.

"Very well," Saber says with a voice that falters only a little, and she takes hold of Sakura's outstretched hand. Her own fingers are warm and solid. Sakura wonders when the last time she held hands was, and she wonders even more why she chose to do it now.

But she says, "Let's go to lunch now, Saber."

* * *

Saber insists on paying for their food, which is annoying, but what she says is surprising enough that Sakura forgets to protest. "I'm told that the gentleman pays for the lady on a date," Saber explains after she pays.

"What?" Sakura's voice is a little shrill in response, and she's worried she might be red in the face herself now. "That doesn't make any sense!"

Saber smiles. "I know, but as a lady you deserve a gentleman, and I have practice, so it's all right if we pretend for a little while, Sakura."

Confusion rolls around in Sakura's gut. It's not that she doesn't think Saber is capable of such playfulness--she spoke with her enough during the early days of the war to see glimpses of it then, albeit awkward ones. But she wants to yell at Saber for daring to treat her this way, all the same. She's done pretending to be happy and loved. She gave that up when she stopped going to have dinner with Shirou. How dare this girl--no, how dare this _Servant_ give her hope again?

She smiles too sweetly. "It's okay, Saber." The words slip out of her. "I know you miss Tohsaka, but you don't have to pretend that I'm a lady who can match her."

Saber's eyes widen. "Sakura?"

She freezes in place for an instant, suddenly panicked by her own honesty. "I—! I didn't mean! Saber, I'm sorry...!"

"No," Saber says. "It is I who should be apologizing to you, so—"

Sakura doesn't stay to hear the rest of Saber's words; the ones she's already spoken are painful enough. She turns on her heel and bolts out the door and down the block, her shoes ringing out dully against the pavement. She needs to get away from this noble creature who treats her so nicely despite everything.

She runs until her footsteps ring out on the bridge, but by then her still-healing lungs are burning fiercely and she stumbles to a halt, gasping, bent over with her hands on her knees. Tears are forming in her eyes and she hates it like she hates herself. Why can't she give up gracefully? Why does she have to feel hope rekindle in her heart whenever Saber smiles at her now?

Sakura straightens up, but she doesn't start to run or even walk again. She hugs herself and stays there, aching, her eyes full of tears she can't shed, as other people pass her by with no more than an occasional curious glance. She's used to that. She doesn't mind.

"Sakura." Saber's voice is soft and regretful as she approaches her from behind.

Sakura just shakes her head and says nothing.

"I have been dishonest with you," Saber says.

Shame rises like bile in Sakura's throat. She still says nothing.

"I've pretended to be an ordinary girl," Saber says, "but in fact, I came to Fuyuki on a mission. I sought to rectify some old mistakes of mine, but in the end I failed to find the answer I was looking for. I stayed when my time should have been up because I wanted to see if there was a different answer."

Sakura finally raises a hand to rub her eyes, then turns to face Saber. "It's fine," she says. Her mouth is dry. "I know you're a Servant, Saber."

Saber nods. "I thought you did," she says. "To be honest, Shirou and Rin are rather blind. They both seem to think you some innocent. That is a lie. Is it not, Sakura Matou? You carry a terrible burden of your own."

Sakura shakes her head. "I don't have an incredible, glorious fate like you," she says. "It's nothing like that. And Saber—" She has to find some way to push her away, so she can stop looking at those sincere and intense eyes. "I set that fire."

"Naturally you did," Saber says. "There was nobody else in the house, after all."

Sakura flushes dark with anger. "How could you accept me after that! I deserve to be punished!"

"I am no longer the king," Saber says. "I do not execute criminals anymore. I've decided to do as I wish instead, and what I wish is to save and serve a person like you."

Sakura feels her insides freeze at those words. "What are you saying?"

"I also lied about why I stayed," Saber continues. "When Shirou and Rin left. I was bothered by your face when Shirou said goodbye."

"I'm sorry my face bothers you," Sakura snaps, frantically trying to get her to stop speaking.

Saber waves her words off. "When I arrived in Shirou's household, everything changed for you, Sakura. I disrupted your happy peace--so I decided that I would atone. I still believe that. I will make up for what I have taken from you."

It's too much. Helplessly, Sakura begins to cry, right there in front of Saber.

Saber is already shorter than her, but now she sinks to one knee and looks up at her. "If you will have me, I will defend you. I will defeat whatever evils plague you."

Sakura wipes her eyes with the back of one hand. "You can't say something like that, Saber."

"I can," Saber says, "and I will."

"No," Sakura says, shaking her head. "It's old-fashioned. Besides, nobody protects girls like me whose virtue is already gone."

"Then," Saber says, "I'll be the first."

Once again, Sakura finds herself reaching out with one hand. Saber looks at it, and this time she hesitates only a fraction of a second before putting her own delicate hand within it.

"I'm going to bring you home, Saber," Sakura says. "Please be ready for something terrible."

* * *

Faced with Excalibur's power, the Matou household burns even more easily than the Emiya one did.

Sakura takes Saber to the basement first. The Servant's eyes harden as she looks over it, and then she looks back at Sakura with an open query on her face.

"Yes," Sakura says. "I spent a lot of time here, Saber. But I don't have any fond memories of it, so you can go ahead and destroy it."

She scorches every worm into ash without trouble. Sakura is really impressed. She wonders if it's all right to think, _This is my Saber; isn't it amazing how powerful she is?_

They meet Zouken in the dining room, after that. He doesn't try to run. His laughter is dry as dust; he recognizes there's no point in fleeing from a power like Saber's.

Sakura allows Shinji to leave, because she really doesn't want to hurt him. He's been learning to be nice to her lately, after all.

Then they watch the whole house go up in flames.

"You're tired, Saber," Sakura says, in the light of the fire.

Saber lowers her head. "I made the mistake of thinking you would not notice. Forgive me."

"It's okay," Sakura says. "I'll find somewhere to make you some food. You liked my miso soup, remember? I'll make it again."

"There's no need—" Saber starts to protest.

Sakura cuts her off. "I'm going to be good to you, Saber," she says. "You're right. I have a burden. You can't just take it away from me, though."

"Sakura?" She gives her an astonished look.

"My senpai is gone," Sakura says. "My sister is gone."

"Your sister—?" Saber is lost.

"But my Saber is here," Sakura says. "And I'll be good enough for her."

She takes hold of Saber's hand for a third time, guided in the evening chill only by the light of the burning house. She pulls Saber's small strong body into her arms and holds her tight.

"I see," Saber says. "Although it doesn't matter if you're good enough. I'll continue serving you in any case."

Sakura rests her cheek against Saber's and says, "I'll have to scold you for that."

"I'll refuse to listen to your scolding," Saber says. Her voice is as stubborn as ever.

"We're a terrible team, then," Sakura says. Her voice is as sweet as ever. "But we can improve. I believe that, you know."

They stand there, embracing, in silence save for the roar of the flames nearby. At last—

There is a terrible rumble and burble.

Saber is hungry again; her stomach protests once more.

"Let's go eat," Sakura says.


End file.
